are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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