she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
