btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
