How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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