: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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