p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
