I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
