I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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