Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
