I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
