Porn is love you can see.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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