So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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