Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My vagina is officially offended.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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