It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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