doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
