Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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