Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
