Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My dick has a subreddit
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize