You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
