so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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