Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize