Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
