I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
