I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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