I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
