then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
