I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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