i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
