How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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