It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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