You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
