I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
