She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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