i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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