Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
