Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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