he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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