Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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