Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize