I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
