Sponge bath it is.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
