Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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