I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
