she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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