drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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