No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
