where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
