as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His nipple licking is glorious
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