I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
