I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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