have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
