I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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