Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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