Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize