before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
