i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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