smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize