im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's paint friendship bongs
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
