I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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