The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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