dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
