you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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