my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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