I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
