Me. At least after what I've been through.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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